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cmurders20

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[03 Sep 2006|10:53pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | everything that says fuck love ]

why do i always get the short end of the stick...why cant i make anything good last...i give my heart away and yet again it gets crushed...i give up on trying to be happy with someone,i always manage to get screwed in the end...people cant even tell me whats going on,they have to hide the truth,then u find out from someone else and it makes it hurt that much more...

fuck relationships
fuck being happy(cause it never lasts)
fuck life period
families the only ones who really love you

1 got fucked up| wanna go?

[25 Jun 2006|12:06am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

just thought i'd let everyone know..the cops gave me a ticket for someone else burning paper in the barbeque in my backyard...so i probably wont be around much longer...this fucking suxs...i didnt even do anything...the cops have been here harassing me everyday since i got out...its bullshit...


well peace out...

4 got fucked up| wanna go?

[23 Jun 2006|04:45am]
yeah its like 5 in the morning but ive been chilling with jimmy and devin outside watching a fire...me and jimmy realized we've been locked up in all the same places and didn't even realize it..we got so much in common you'd think were related...lol...anyways im still up cause im not tired...whatever... peace out.. the pimp
wanna go?

[22 Jun 2006|09:34pm]
[ mood | content ]

YEA...IM A LOSERRRRRR...BUT EVERYONE LOVES ME,CAUSE IM PIMP SHIT LIKE THAT...LOL

wanna go?

[20 Jun 2006|12:56am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | everything ]

so lets see...i got probation today so ill be busy for awhile...then me and dan are going back to the jail so i can get my shit...my phones gonna melt when i turn it on,cause im gonna have so many messages...lol...cant wait to see my baby girl jeessssssiiiiicccccaaaa...yeah..dont hate shes a pimp...lol...so thanx to everyone who wrote me while i was gone..it really helped me...thanx for all of the support...most of the letters were good news, but yeah theres always a bad one sometimes...lol...anyway..today was cool.i hungout with a bunch of people,mostly my bro..i love him to death...so i decided to barbeque today, and ask anyone who ate it...i make the best chicken ever...lol...some things are looking up for me,then theres still a few things that arent..whatever thats just life for ya...well i guess thats it for now...im going for a bike ride..."""FUCK THE POLICE"""they know im back and they dont like it...lol...i told them i would be back...lol...hahahahahahahaha...


peace out...


love the pimp and all the homies...

THE PIMP... :)

2 got fucked up| wanna go?

[19 Jun 2006|01:19am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | WHATEVER ]

SO IM FINALLY OUT OF JAIL..YAAAAYYY...ITS GOOD TO BE OUT BUT SHIT IS STILL FUCKED UP AND BORING LIKE ALWAYS...JUST THE SAME OLD SHIT..SO LETS SEE IM ON PROBATION FOR 3 YEARS (WHATEVER),IM A YEAR OLDER THAN I WAS BEFORE I LEFT,AND IM SINGLE...LIFES A BITCH BUT OH WELL...WELL ANYWAYS...MY FIRST NIGHT OUT I GOT DRUNK WITH JON AND MY BRO AND TODAY I GOT TO SEE ALOT OF PEOPLE I MISSED ALOT,SO THAT WAS EXCITING..THERES STILL A FEW PEOPLE I WANT TO SEE AND A FEW I DONT REALLY CARE TO SEE..HOPEFULLY ILL GET TO SEE THEM SOON...HAVENT REALLY DONE ANYTHING EXCEPT SIT AROUND IN THE HOUSE...I HAD JEANNIE CUT MY HAIR CAUSE IT WAS TO LONG..SO NOW I LOOK A LIL BETTER...LOL...I STILL GOTTA GO BACK TO OCJ TO GET MY WALLET,MY PHONE AND MY HAT...ILL TAKE CARE OF THAT IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS...IDK...IM BORED AND ITS LIKE 2 IN THE MORNING, SO IM GONNA GO WATCH SOME MOVIES WITH SMALLZ..ILL UPDATE THIS SHIT AGAIN LATER...


PEACE

LOVE YOU ALL..WELL MOST OF YOU ANYWAY

3 got fucked up| wanna go?

[18 Jun 2006|02:47am]
[ mood | meh ]
[ music | Neh ]

Blah Blah im chris
Jail was Gay
If anyone makes a shower joke i will kill them
seriously
IM
NOT
JOKEING
Boo




Blah

X MAsTers X

Niggaz


Im Rick James BITCH!
Slap yo Punk! ass
Biotch
John Fielden Sucks
Hes Is going to eat donuts.... somtime soon perhaps...Gerrrrrr

3 got fucked up| wanna go?

chris be home soon [31 May 2006|03:34pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | what ever ]

yaaaay chris will be home soon 18 more days
and hes out
peace out

1 got fucked up| wanna go?

[22 May 2006|12:43pm]
[ mood | In JAIL ]
[ music | STAIND every thing changes ]

hey what up this is the pimps lil bro he asked me to do this
to tell you how life is so shitty in jail and dont fuck up
in life like he did and he misses all of his really friends
and he wants to see you all soon when he gets out he says hes
losing his mind ther.... and he says thanks to every one who
has been writing him and helping him through all of this bull shit

love all of my really friends

p.s.PIMPS LIL Bro
told me 2 writ 4 him

1 got fucked up| wanna go?

[14 Feb 2006|05:13am]
[ mood | undescribable ]
[ music | genuine-my whole life has changed ]

so i really dont know what to say...this is really gonna suck..idk how im gonna live without my baby and all my friends...its gonna be so hard...

amber(my baby)..i love you sooooooooo much baby...i wish this was all over already..im sorry this is happening..you know your my world,my life,my everything...i love you so much and ill love you just as much every second im thinking of you...i will love you forever and that will never change...i want to be with you when i get back...i dont want to lose you...i dont want to spend 1 day without you..my heart is yours and it always will be...just remember all the good times we spent together in each others arms...all the happiness we brought each other...my life was complete as soon as u walked into it...you'll always be my baby...i love you so much...

and to everyone else i love...i know it'll be hard but ill be back soon...just think of it as a vacation or something...im gonna miss helping everyone and talking to you all...ill do my best from where ill be...i love you all so much...i wouldnt trade any of you for anything...ill write everyone i promise...i love you all...ill see you again...and dan will let everyone know when ill be back...

jeannie...ill always love you and im sorry i wont be here for you...i hope everything works out for you...ill be back 1 day and we can catch up on everything...im gonna miss you soooo much...ill think about you all the time and all the good times we had together...i love you...it'll all be ok...



THE PIMP WILL RETURN....be thinking about you all the time...............................

wanna go?

[09 Feb 2006|11:43pm]
[ mood | tired as fuck ]

so so tired...idk...lol..ill do this shit tomorrow..

love you baby...
love you jeannie...
love you bro...

love everyone else to...

wanna go?

[01 Feb 2006|09:30am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | whatevers playing ]

so yeah..lifes still got its up and downs...im happy cause i got my baby but then im sad cause i feel like i lost my best friend...the only person i could talk to about anything and i dont know what i did...now i just bottle everything up and one day ill let it all out...(thats not gonna be a pretty site)hate to be whoevers around me when that happens...so anyways just been chillin at my house with all the homies...we set a new record the other night..there was 29 people in this house...that was a funn night...other than that been chillin with my girlfriend just spending time together...it makes me happy...
well im out i got probation in a lil bit...
peace...


love you baby...
love you lil brother...
love you jeannie...and evryone else...(to many names..lol..)

3 got fucked up| wanna go?

[26 Jan 2006|11:10pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i try so hard to make everyone happy and help everyone out but it doesnt seem like its never good enough...im sick of making sure everyone else is happy while im still miserable...fuck this...from now on its all about me and my happiness...


love you all...

10 got fucked up| wanna go?

[26 Jan 2006|07:33pm]
[ mood | confused ]

so things r still really confusing..idk what to do or who to listen to...maybe i should do what i want and just say fuck everything else..idk...im lost...



peace

3 got fucked up| wanna go?

[24 Jan 2006|12:58am]
[ mood | lost ]

song that explains how i feel...

3 doors down---when im gone...

thats all im saying for now...


love you all...

i love you jeannie...i really need to talk to you...thats if you want to talk to me anymor... :( :(

1 got fucked up| wanna go?

[22 Jan 2006|01:37pm]
[ mood | never been this confused ]
[ music | ppls talkin ]

so life fucking suxs...i dont know who to trust or believe anymor...i cant believe that everything was a lie from the beginning...how can someone do that to someone else...its just not right...what r u supposed to do when ur heart gets torn from ur chest???...idk...pick it up and run i guess...whats the point of sticking around and getting hurt all the time...i say fuck it all...theres no such thing as happiness...its all lies...u try to give someone the world but they just decide to take ur world from you...im done trying to fix everything and make everything better...it works for everyone else but never for me...im over trying to find someone to love...its just not my life i guess...oh well...lifes easier when u dont hav to deal with lies and all the other bullshit...



p.s. I LOVE JESSICA DIETZ!!!! SHES AWSOME!!!!

this is jess cuz chris is slow and cant finish his fucking journal lol jk chris i love u ne wyas nothin to say ill finish this up for him
I LOVE U CHRISTOPHER MASTERS!!!

17 got fucked up| wanna go?

[22 Jan 2006|03:08am]
[ mood | IDK ]

YEA...SO LIFES A BITCH...

wanna go?

[18 Jan 2006|08:11pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | 3 days grace--i hate everything about you ]

hhahahahahahaha....no jail for me...told you they couldnt hold the pimp...lol....

guess you all will just have to deal with me for a lil while longer...suxs to be you...lol...


love you jeannie...i miss you...

love everyone else...

wanna go?

[16 Jan 2006|09:44am]
[ mood | afraid ]
[ music | 3 doors down--when im gone ]

so today is my last day here...anyone and everyone should come see me...if u want to...

this really sux...the sorry thing is im mor worried about whats gonna happen to all my friends when i leave...they always come to me for help or anything...its really gonna kill me to not be able to be here for everyone...im so worried everything ive been holding together is gonna fall apart when i leave and theres not gonna be anyone here to stop it...its kinda bad when 1 person leaving cause they fucked up is gonna tear so many people apart inside...yea i say everything is gonna be ok when im gone but we know its not...i wish there was some way to get a punishment with out having to leave everyone...but i fucked up so now i hav to pay the price for it...

well idk...i got alot of thinking to do...ill update again later some time...


jeannie i love you so much...im so sorry about all of this...i know its gonna be so hard for you while im not here...


i love you all...im so sorry im not gonna be here to help anyone...

5 got fucked up| wanna go?

[15 Jan 2006|02:21pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | nickelback---photograph ]

wow...its amazing how much a guy can cry when hes home by himself just thinkin about his life comming to a hault...this really suxs...i dont wanna go...theres so many people i love and care about now...i know when im gone things r gonna be so fucked up cause i wont be here to help everyone with their relationships and other shit...it really suxs cause alot of people come to me to talk cause they know i try my hardest to fix everything and i actually listen and try to help...and then theres jeannie..the person who is always there when my life is fucked up...im really gonna miss talking to her...its not the end of the world but it might as well be...well im depressed enough already...think ill go be a baby again and cry somewhere...



love you all...

4 got fucked up| wanna go?

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